...and I keep telling myself "tomorrow I will do better, it'll be alright", and I keep trying to convince myself that I am winning the good fight. What bullshit.
I am so fucked up in the head it's not funny. I am a 45-year-old white collar gay guy who is a closeted ED freak who obsesses about calories and fat grams and inches. I have a great life partner, a fantastic career, and a gorgeous home. But I am so obsessed with the way my body looks, the leanness, the fat, every little square inch. I am driving myself insane. If I don't pop sleeping pills them I am just up all night obsessing about my weight.
What a crazy fucked up life.
Love to all of you out there, and a happy July 4th (if you are in the states)...
Bye for now :)
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