I am sick and tired and worn out. My latest bout with "recovery" cost me over 20 pounds in gain. I feel fat, sloppy, unattractive, and like a total loser.
Today, no more food. I'm going to do this, and I don't care if I drop dead. It beats never sleeping, being depressed and miserable all the time because of weight.
I am going to allow myself protein teas and nothing else. I use cans of Sugar Free Pure Protein Vanilla Creme shakes. They are 110 calories a can. I brew hot tea, and I put about 1.5 ounces of this into the cup of tea instead of milk, and 1 sweetener packet. I usually get about 5 cups of tea from one can of the protein. The tea is warm and tastes good and is very satisfying, so by the end of the day I have had around 10 cups of tea and about 2 or 2.5 cans of this protein for a daily calorie total of about 220 to 270 calories. Plus that gets me around 50 grams of protein so it doesn't shock the body too much like pure restriction.
I will keep my progress posted. All I know is that I can't go on acting like nothing happened. This gain is killing me from the inside very slowly.
I wish all of my LiveJournal friends the best, love you all!
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